I enjoy the (real or virtual) company of both baalei teshuvah and renegades from frumkeit (for lack of a better term). Two dimensions are more interesting than one. In fact, every thinking person who was raised frum must be a bit of a rebel and a bit of a baal teshuvah.

The yiddishkeit taught in cheder, or the more modern equivalent, is filled with simple-minded myths designed to give meaning to our traditions. In this mythical world, the righteous are perfectly righteous, the wicked are perfectly wicked, and the very cosmos is centered on the comings and goings of a few thousand of anshei shlomeinu. Everybody and everything else is window dressing.

Sometimes life is presented this way because it is all our teachers imagine we can or need to comprehend at a young age. Sometimes it is because our teachers themselves have arrested at this stage. Either way, most people eventually outgrow that narrow view of the world and realize that they've been bopping around a very small and very arbitrary little corner of human possibility. Many prefer not to have to deal with the consequences of this realization and, after a cursory look around, head back under the blankets. Others rebel against the childish version of yiddishkeit which they've received and demand a more mature version. If they expect to get it from their teachers, they will be disappointed.

Only by rebelling does one have any hope of making progress. Rebelling allows us to leave the myths intact for future generations, while at the same time reinterpreting them for ourselves in ways that are both concrete enough to give meaning to our traditions and abstract enough to be plausible. In short, rebellion is necessary so that frum people can be chozer bi-teshuvah.

This process of rebellion and return can repeat itself many times in a person's lifetime. Unfortunately, many people arrest somewhere along the way. For some, the yiddishkeit that they'd end up with after rebelling and returning is so remote from that which would be tolerated in their little shtetl, there's no point. The social price is too high. Others are so resentful at having been played for fools, that they live the rest of their lives wallowing in self-righteous anger. Others bury themselves in unthinking frumkeit.

I follow the struggles of Shaigetz, Shtreimel, Mis-nagid, and SL Aronovitz with fascination, with empathy, and -- occasionally -- with envy. You can't buy them with pareve. I hope they get the milchig and the fleishig sorted out one day.