One of the popular frum chat groups has been abuzz lately with tsk tsking about, dare I even utter the words... people coming late to shul. Delicate souls are shocked, shocked. Some of these latecomers push right past other people to get to their seats. There's talking in the hallways. Some of these loud pushy people could very well be the same ones who make kiddush before davening is over and even drink alcohol in front of impressionable children. Special dispensation is available for those who come late out of solicitude for their wives with whom they are sharing the burden etc etc. But just who are those barbarians who just shamelessly waltz in at the crack of Barchu with no excuse?

IT'S ME! Yes, I'm the one they're all talking about. I like to sleep late in the morning. I have a leisurely cup of tea before shul on Shabbos morning and even some lekach, if I'm in the mood. I am happy to see my neighbors in shul and take the opportunity to share a kind word, maybe even a joke, with as many of them as I can. I occasionally even khap a shmooze during the most sacred and somber part of davening, the tefillah lishlom hamedinah (so holy that it must simply be recited, no melody befits it). At kiddush, I've been known to ply people with a shot of Booker's. How can I face myself in the mirror?! Oh, the humanity!

So, tzaddikim of the world, you can stop pussyfooting around the identity of the Evil One. It's me, Ben Chorin, you're after. Fling! Fling!